Some helpful things to guide you to writing your Words of Remembrance for your loved one.
Talk with family and friends
Don’t feel like the complete weight of remembering your loved one is on your shoulders alone. Ask family members or friends to share their own stories of your loved one. This process can be helpful, as the sharing itself can help in the healing that follows your grief.
Tell their faith story.
Everyone will appreciate your personal memories. The funeral however is a time to share how their faith impacted not only their own life, but the lives of others as well. It speaks as to why we have gathered at church for their funeral rather than a more secular location. Their faith was important to them, this is the time to acknowlege and honor that life of faith..
Don’t think about it as public speaking
You might be speaking in front of people, but, no one is judging what you’re saying. They’re listening and appreciating, your sharing. However, write it down. It will not only help give you a focus but help you share what you truly want to say and not get lost in the emotion of the moment.
Keep it brief
A comfortable time frame, and current practice is 3-5 minutes. That may not sound like a lot of time, but when you are speaking publicly, trust us, it is.
Practice Reading it out loud
Before the funeral, read what you've written out loud, to yourself or to a family member or friend. Sometimes what we've written doesn't express what we're thinking. Reading it out loud will help you focus on any changes you might need to make.
Once you are happy with the final results, send an email copy to Fr Marc ([email protected]) or Deacon Bill ([email protected]). This confirms that your plans to offer Words of Remembrance haven't changed. (Please note: if they do not receive an email copy, it is assumed no one will be offering Words of Remembrance, and to avoid embarrassment, no one wll be called forward). Also, by sending them in advance, it allows us to have a copy of the text on the pulpit for you.. This way, should you forget with all the events of the day, a copy will be there for you.
Humor
It’s OK to tell a humorous story. Be sure to ask yourself, however, whether the person themselves would want that moement or story shared. This is, after all, a time to honor your deceased loved one to others.
Relax
Finally, relax. It can be difficult to offer Words of Remembrance given all that you’re going through, but be at peace knowing that you’re honoring and celebrating your loved one's life, faith, family and friends.